They say that when you write a blog you should write to just one person. It took me some time, but I think I found her.
Right about now she is clearing off the table from dinner after a long day at work. Her body is tired and her mind is racing. There are so many unanswered questions. Questions about practical life skills, marriage, God, how to be true to her artist calling in the face of a fast paced and constantly changing world. She doesn’t know where she will be in six months so, to hold her over until the next breakthrough, she dwells on the memories of the last ones. She wants to go back to a moment like that. Well, not go back. Go forward to a moment like that again. But everything has changed so much she’s not quiet sure how to go about it now.
If this is you, or someone you know ;), maybe stick around awhile. I have a few things I would love to share with you about. Because girl- you are amazing. Hands down, drop the mic, peanut butter cookies and milk awesome. I have seen you and you are gorgeous. But more than that your soul is in such a lovely place right now.
Yes is was good before. When you were surrounded by so many who thought just like you. Who encouraged you and lifted you up. Who gave you the best of themselves as often as they were able. But now it’s just you and him. You and God. In that little room. No one to tell you how to think, what to do, or who to be. It’s just you and him. And it is glorious.
You are about to find exactly what you didn’t know you had been looking for. His face. Through your own eyes.
Being alone and being in pain at the same time has a way of bringing your relationship with him into sharp focus. You are either together or you’re not. I remember, when I was in that room alone, it hurt to hear what he had to say. But it was worth every second of suffering it took to stop running and face my fears. To face myself.
I think we get the wrong idea about life sometimes. If life was a road trip we start out thinking it’s about a destination. But then we get cool and wise and stuff and realized there are little moments all along the way. Maybe it’s not about the destination. Maybe it’s about the view points. The places we stop the car, get out, take a selfie and share with the world. Because the world loves beauty. But you know, we really only spend a few minutes there and then we are on the road again. People don’t go on road trips for those things. They go on them for the drive.
There is always a period of the trip where everyone is quiet. That’s why the best road trips are with people who you love. Because everyone sort of comes together in the silence. Each has their own thoughts that only come up when you’ve been sitting in the car for too long. But no one is alone. Together the spirits rise in a symphony of process. Processing through the process. Unanswered questions and dreams float around in the air like their own kind of music.
Most of the time no one really talks about those thoughts. Usually a bathroom stop ends the moment and the radio gets turned back on. But that moment is why people get in the car.
That space and permission to think anything. To process, to dream, to chew on a thought over and over until something comes of it. That is where you are at with God right now.
There is nothing else you can do to move forward then what is already being done. Let the car do its job and sink into the drive. See what comes up. Floats from your heart to your brain and let the Holy Spirit whisper things he has not been able to say at any other time.
Because as hard as it is, this season is a sweet one. Vulnerable and valuable. And it’s just between you and him.
I believe in you. I see great things for your future. And while I am not an expert, whenever something comes to me that I think you might like to know, I’ll put it here for you to find. It’s gonna be ok. Yeah. You’re going to be better than ok. I cried – like was going about my normal day and just sat down and cried- when I first heard this song.
Just, take a listen. See if it speaks anything to you.